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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467298">Three</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euypotato/pseuds/Euypotato'>Euypotato</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Peaky Blinders (TV), Peaky Blinders RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Affection, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:07:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25467298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euypotato/pseuds/Euypotato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna was sad and couldn't sleep. Cillian came and helped soothe her pain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cillian Murphy/Original Female Character(s), Cillian Murphy/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nothing screams sadness more than the fact that you are sitting alone in a quiet room at three in the morning. The room itself is an utter mess; jackets, coats, all having their own spaces on the sofa. Bottles of liquors, empty glasses, and empty plates are present on the table, making an awful mix of smell that you’ll eventually get used to. Those are signs that there was such life before.</p>
<p>It’s not that Anna didn’t participate in being alive then. She just hadn’t drunk enough alcohol to lull her sleep, and she doesn’t want to drink more either. So instead, she sits cross-legged on an empty sofa, having her laptop on her lap and making a bunch of clicking noises. The noise, she thought, could help her drown the loud voices inside her head.</p>
<p>Yesterday was a joyous day. Anna and her teams had finished filming the season finale of their series. They rented a huge house near the production site to celebrate their hard work. There was laughter, singing, stories, hugs, and tears. Years of working together—of seeing the same people over and over—has finally come to an end. It’s funny, Anna thinks, how some endings are celebrated and some are mourned. And sometimes, you can be in both positions at the same time, just like she is.</p>
<p>As she is laying her head on the back of the sofa and stretching her arms, she notices the sound of a door being opened. Now there are footsteps, rushing to go down the stairs. She turns his face towards the stairs to see who is also awake at this time.</p>
<p>“Well,” Cillian Murphy stopped his movement when he made eye contact with Anna. “I thought everyone’s on comatose from partying too hard, eh.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t party hard enough,” Anna says, grinning as he walks behind the sofa and pats her shoulder. He then goes inside a bathroom.</p>
<p>Cillian is her co-star. For the past years, they have always been inseparable due to their role. He plays the role of a rich-corporate man who helps Nora (played by Anna), the poor young girl who worked for his company. The premise may sound cheap and ordinary, but these series explores more than just that. It explains how pain can change a person, and finding someone who understands can encourage you to leave the ugly things behind. That reality can be a dreadful place, but there’s always hope.</p>
<p>“What happens to the other bathroom?” she asks when he finally goes out. Cillian walks towards the sofa then sits beside her.</p>
<p>“The tissue ran out,” says Cillian.</p>
<p>“Good thing you’ve checked.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, otherwise my shirt will be the replacement,” he chuckles. “What are you up to?”</p>
<p>“I’m writing. A <em>po-em</em>,” Anna shows him his laptop. “You can read it aloud if you want.”</p>
<p>Cillian puts the laptop on his lap. “A <em>po-em</em>. Let’s see.” He squinted a little bit to see the words better. Then he starts to read it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Three hundred steps I have taken, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>two times more backward. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Six hours of sunshine a day, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>darkness two times more. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s all okay, it would be. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Until it is not, it wouldn’t be. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Not moving yet lost </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Arms wide open, embraces a little </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The finish line, you decide.” </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The room goes silent. Only Cillian’s heavy breath can be heard. “This is…,” he exhales, “Good. I like it”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” she smiles. “You read it nicely as well.”</p>
<p>“What is this about?” Cillian says while he puts the laptop on the table.</p>
<p>“It’s just, uh, I don’t know. Well, it’s just that, sometimes there comes the feeling that finally… finally, you are feeling okay. Or happy. But then you realize that you are nowhere near that point. You move forward for a few steps only to find out that you aren’t actually making progress. That’s how I feel right now and so, I write.”</p>
<p>Cillian’s face softens after hearing her explanation. “Come here,” he stretches his arms to wrap Anna in his hug. Anna hugs him back and rests her head on his shoulder. The burden that has been weighing her doesn’t ultimately disappear, but she knows that she is not alone in this and that eases her pain.</p>
<p>Sad and angry tears roll down on Anna’s cheeks slowly. “Since Tom’s gone I was—I don’t know if I want to trust again. I’m so angry at himself that it’s eating me alive. I really, really want to forgive him, but how can I? He can’t go around like that! He can’t keep getting away with this. Not me being miserable while he has the time of his fucking life. It’s so fucking unfair.”</p>
<p>Tom. He was Anna’s former boyfriend. Anna introduced them to each other when Tom picked her up on set. Cillian remembers how she smiled coyly when she introduced Tom, but you can see that her eyes gleamed so brightly. On the other hand, Tom looked friendly but composed, not that kind of guy who would leave his girlfriend without any clear explanation then went on ghosting her for god-knows-how-long. But people always disappoint, don’t they? People love to surprise you in the most unthinkable way possible.</p>
<p>So when Cillian sees Anna still swimming in misery even after three months, he understands. He understands that no matter how busy she is, no matter how well-loved this woman is, the fact that someone you fully trust leaving you like that is just too much to grasp.</p>
<p>“Life is unfair,” Cillian says calmly. “It always has been. And it’s never your fault that you trusted him. That just shows how genuine you love him. To waste a pure love like that… he’s fucking stupid. So what if he’s happy? You can be happy too, you know.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know. I’m happy, I guess, but there will always come a time like this when I couldn’t sleep and just… think, about what we used to be. Sometimes I still make conversations in my head, confronting him. Or yell at him. Or blaming myself for being less that he left. Imagining him with another girl because I’m fucking stupid.”</p>
<p>“Hey, hey, you are not less and you are not stupid, okay?” Cillian pulls her away, trying to meet Anna’s eyes to convince her of his words. “You can be someone perfect but if he wants to leave, he would, and he won’t explain why. He’s simply an asshole, and a coward because he’s too scared to speak. It has nothing to do with you, Anna. You are good enough, too good for him even. And that’s okay if you move backward sometimes. You are allowed to be sad. You can still cry even if you thought that you are healed. You are a human, okay?”</p>
<p>Anna nods and takes a deep breath. She stops crying, feels exhausted from all of the negative emotions. At times like this, she is grateful to have someone like Cillian. They have created such special bonds from being together time to time. They also talk to each other a lot. Anna knows that he is the right person to turn to when she faced troubles during filming at that time. One said that he’s a wise person, and that’s true. He is like a mentor to her.</p>
<p>“You are not obligated to forgive him if you’re not ready. Only God can forgive someone at lightning speed,” Cillian smiles. “But you’re human. Forgiveness is a long journey and it can’t be forced. It takes time. You’ll tumble over and over again, but I believe you will always be able to rise.”</p>
<p>“And eventually I will find peace. Hopefully,” adds Anna.</p>
<p>“You will, that’s for sure.”</p>
<p>Anna smiles then punch Cillian’s arms softly. “Damn wise, Mr. Murphy.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” Cillian says with a laugh. “Go publish your poem. Or write more.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think I should. What is it people say? That good art comes from troubled soul?” she grins.</p>
<p>“Ah, I’m not troubled but I’m still a good actor,” he giggles.</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” Anna moves to hug Cillian. “I’m gonna miss being on set with you. You’re such a great friend, you know.”</p>
<p>He caresses her hair. “I know I am. I’m gonna miss you too. Tell me if you’re coming to Ireland, okay?”</p>
<p>“Nah, that won’t be fun. I will be in front of your door even before you know it.”</p>
<p>“Looking forward to that,” they let go of each other. “So, whiskey?” Cillian grabs an empty glass.</p>
<p>“I think I can sleep now. Good night, Cillian.”</p>
<p>He raises his glass. “Good night, Anna.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Thank you so much for reading my writing!</p>
<p>I used to write fanfic a lot, and never published them. I haven't written anything long like this in almost 3 years, and I'm really glad so I decided to share this :D </p>
<p>Please forgive my grammatical errors and else, as English is not my first language. Nevertheless, I hope you can enjoy the story as much as I enjoy writing it (and imagining Cillian as my best friend, haha). Have a nice life!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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